Who are you?

1 message now received.
> 1 nice person sent it.
> 1 monkey is reading it.
> Monkey is smiling now.
> Monkey is still reading.
> Monkey will be laughing.
>
>
> Your words are antibiotics,
> Your smile is analgesic,
> Your touch is antiinflammatory,
> Your presence is antiseptic,
> Ans your SMS is antipyretic.
> That's why I never got ill.
>
>
> |99  6|9_66(96)696\96/9[6-  69|6_6|96
> press Edit and remove all the 6 & 9 to understand what I want to say.
>
>
> U are 70% pretty,
> 75% naughty,
> 85% sweet,
> 90% cute, and
> 100% lovely
> total, 70+75+85+90+100= U are now....
> 420.
>
>
> Whenever I miss u, I check my Msg.
> Whenever I want to see u, I take a look at ur photo.
> Whenever I want to hear ur voice,
> I throw a stone to a pig.
>
>
> Every bird cannot fly high, but Eagle can.
> Every flower cannot bloom in water, but Lotus can.
> Every monkey cannot read msg, but You can
>
>
> Birds fly high, hard to catch
> Girl like you, hard to forget.
> Stars twinkle in the sky, hard to take
> Girl like you, hard to hate.
> I will die, Sea will dry
> But I will never say goodbye.
>
>
> What happened to ur network?
> I tried to call u but the operator said,
> " Welcome to the jungle,
> the monkey u are trying to call is on the tree now.
> Pls try again later."
>
>
> All my body parts are for u.
> Eyes - to look at u.
> Hands - to pray for u.
> Brain - to think of u.
> Heart - to store u.
> Legs - to kick u if u forget me.
>
>
> Who says English is easy?
> I don't believe.
> Can u fill in the blank with even "Yes" or "No"?
> "___", I'm a fool.
> U see? How?
> If u can't answer, ask another fool.
>
>
> We are true friends.
> If I were sky, u would be a bird.
> If I were sea, u would be a fish.
> If I were flower, u would be a bee.
> If I were tree, u would be a monkey.
>
>
> Do u know Life is like a Movie?
> When u are happy, "Comedy"..
> When u are sad, "Drama".
> When u got enemy, "Action".
> When u face the mirror, "Horror".
>
>
> Let me draw ur face.
> Don't move!
> Almost finish.
> Ok it's done.
> Wanna hv a look??
>   ,*****,
> (@..@ )
>   "(--)"
> hehe I told u not to move.
>
>
> At this moment, 10 millions people are having sex.
> 5 millions ppl are having coffee.
> 100 millions ppl are sleeping.
> And 1 stupid fool is reading my msg.
>
>
> Mom advised Girl, " If boys put hands in bra, say DON'T.
> If he put hands in ur panty, say STOP"
> Next day, Girl told Mom,
> " He touched me both and I said DON'T STOP".
>
>
> kuku kiki
> gugu gigi
> kuki gugi
> gugu gigi kuku kiki...
> Congratulations!
> u can speak very well in monkeys' language.
> pls come to zoo to collect ur certificate.
>
>
> a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,v,w,x,y,z
> Which alphabet do u miss?
> Answer me completely in one sentence, ok?
>
>
> This is a crime story :
> 5 friends lived in a room namely,
> Mad, Brain, Fool, Nobody and Somebody.
> One day, Somebody killed Nobody.
> At that time, Brain was in the bath room.
> Mad called Police.
> Mad : Is it police station?
> Police : Yes, what's the matter?
> Mad : Somebody killed Nobody.
> Police : Are u mad?
> Mad : Yes, I am Mad.
> Police : Don't u hv brain?
> Mad : Brain is in the bathroom.
> Police : U fool!!!
> Mad : No, Fool is reading this Msg.